Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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