My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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