You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
It's not a walk of shame if you run
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Randomize
