The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Randomize