is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Randomize
