how can u be prego again
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Randomize
