We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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