let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
Randomize
