I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
