So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
