Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
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