apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
