Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
