Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
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