remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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