whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
