Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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