i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
You are a genius and a whore.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
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