i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
