That's when you crack a 10am beer
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
