I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
