So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize