his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
