I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
