he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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