i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Randomize
