Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize