The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
