i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I smell like Dick and happiness
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
