Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
