You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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