Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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