So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Randomize
