Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I don't deserve a penis
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
