I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
