i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
