Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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