belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize