we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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