Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize
