Ambien. No doubt about it.
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
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