Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize
