She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
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