He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
