one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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