Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
