ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
