Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize