Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
