I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
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