At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
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