Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I'm getting married
To pizza
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
