My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
did i just pee glitter
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
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