Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
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