It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
