My pussy is not your playground.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Randomize
