I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize
