also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
