I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
