let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Houston, we have a blender
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
