Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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