i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
